Comments on: Some Fantasy Work By Wanda D. Kimball http://www.screwiowa.com/some-fantasy-work-by-wanda-d-kimball/ Just another WordPress weblog Sun, 29 Aug 2010 23:33:22 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Nina Romano http://www.screwiowa.com/some-fantasy-work-by-wanda-d-kimball/comment-page-1/#comment-47 Nina Romano Tue, 09 Feb 2010 19:26:24 +0000 http://www.screwiowa.com/?p=243#comment-47 While this is not the genre I would choose to read, I found it compelling and you engage the reader. Nice going. What concerns me about the piece are two things--first, there really is a Philco--can you use that without being sued? The senond thing that bothered me was the tense shift ... keep it all in past tense. Simple and sure. Oh and the number 50 should be written out as "fifty." I say, don't sweat the nit-pickey stuff, just keep on writing. While this is not the genre I would choose to read, I found it compelling and you engage the reader. Nice going.

What concerns me about the piece are two things–first, there really is a Philco–can you use that without being sued? The senond thing that bothered me was the tense shift … keep it all in past tense. Simple and sure. Oh and the number 50 should be written out as “fifty.”

I say, don’t sweat the nit-pickey stuff, just keep on writing.

]]> By: Auntie M http://www.screwiowa.com/some-fantasy-work-by-wanda-d-kimball/comment-page-1/#comment-40 Auntie M Sat, 06 Feb 2010 18:32:47 +0000 http://www.screwiowa.com/?p=243#comment-40 Wanda, there's a lot going on here that catches the reader's attention. The scene is set well, there is a lot of action, there is dialogue and a sense of showing not telling. I agree the name Bulba stands out as awkward, but otherwise, it's a great attention-getting opener. Wanda, there’s a lot going on here that catches the reader’s attention. The scene is set well, there is a lot of action, there is dialogue and a sense of showing not telling. I agree the name Bulba stands out as awkward, but otherwise, it’s a great attention-getting opener.

]]> By: Marcia Wagner http://www.screwiowa.com/some-fantasy-work-by-wanda-d-kimball/comment-page-1/#comment-39 Marcia Wagner Thu, 04 Feb 2010 17:21:04 +0000 http://www.screwiowa.com/?p=243#comment-39 Wanda, you really do know how to write sci-fi thriller's. Is this the prerequisite to the story you were working on in class? The way you write still keeps me intrigued to know what"s going to happen next. However, I do agree with Lauren that the name Bulba was a little distracting. Just my opinion. Anyway, can't wait to read more. Wanda, you really do know how to write sci-fi thriller’s. Is this the prerequisite to the story you were working on in class? The way you write still keeps me intrigued to know what”s going to happen next. However, I do agree with Lauren that the name Bulba was a little distracting. Just my opinion. Anyway, can’t wait to read more.

]]> By: Lauren Small http://www.screwiowa.com/some-fantasy-work-by-wanda-d-kimball/comment-page-1/#comment-37 Lauren Small Wed, 03 Feb 2010 16:22:38 +0000 http://www.screwiowa.com/?p=243#comment-37 I love the sense of mystery in this piece--it makes me want to read more. I feel as if I've been given a glimpse of a fascinating world. Great job establishing suspense, setting a quick pace, and putting us down in the thick of the action. One thought--the name Bulba seems awkward to me. Maybe think of alternatives? I love the sense of mystery in this piece–it makes me want to read more. I feel as if I’ve been given a glimpse of a fascinating world. Great job establishing suspense, setting a quick pace, and putting us down in the thick of the action. One thought–the name Bulba seems awkward to me. Maybe think of alternatives?

]]> By: Melissa Westemeier http://www.screwiowa.com/some-fantasy-work-by-wanda-d-kimball/comment-page-1/#comment-36 Melissa Westemeier Wed, 03 Feb 2010 15:42:09 +0000 http://www.screwiowa.com/?p=243#comment-36 The trickiest part of writing fantasy or sci-fi is getting enough information and back story to your reader. Wanda, I think you've done a fantastic job on this. The sense of PLACE is so clear, and while I'm left with questions, I'm not confused. You incorporate the senses of smell/sight/sound really elegantly, too. Good luck! This is a great start! The trickiest part of writing fantasy or sci-fi is getting enough information and back story to your reader. Wanda, I think you’ve done a fantastic job on this. The sense of PLACE is so clear, and while I’m left with questions, I’m not confused. You incorporate the senses of smell/sight/sound really elegantly, too. Good luck! This is a great start!

]]>